The One About Gifts

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‘Tis the gift-giving season. Sigh . . . I wish I did this better. Gift-giving is not my love language.

-  The Christmas List. BIG SIGH . . . It played an imperative role in my Christmases Past with the in-laws. Gift-giving is their love language, so they were adamant about needing a list. Early on, this was a joy because there were all sorts of things that we needed when we were young, just starting out, and relatively poor. But as time went on and my genuine needs grew fewer, it became a problem because it kind of forced me to manufacture desires that wouldn’t have been there otherwise.

Honestly, it wasn’t a good practice – for me or for my children. I’m grateful that my girls have come to see that, too. Now that they’ve reached that age of starting life on their own and having many material needs, the Christmas list is valid. But they are aware now of needs versus wants. And they seem to be content without the wants but joyful and grateful when they get them . . . which is where we all should be.

-  Now that I’m not exchanging gifts with my ex’s family anymore, the bulk of my Christmas gifts come from my students. Lots of gift cards. Lots of sweet stuff. My drama students gave me a box of chocolates the other night at the Christmas program. Consumables that I will enjoy and that will then disappear. My kids know me well.

-  When I give gifts these days, I actually prefer, when I can, to give experiences rather than objects. Instead of buying someone a DVD, I’d rather take them to a play. Instead of buying someone a blender, I’d rather treat them to dinner at a fabulous restaurant. Instead of handing someone a gift card, I’d rather take them on a shopping spree.

(Wait. That’s a lie. I hate shopping. But you get the idea.)

-  My eldest got the whole family started using Giftster a few years back, and that has been a blessing. It not only simplified the list-sharing procedures, but it gave me a place to keep a running list of wants where they aren’t in my face all the time. And it’s interesting to check back every few months or so and realize that something I enthusiastically added there a while back has totally lost its appeal -- so maybe it's good that it's still on a list and not cluttering my house.

-  There’s not that much that I want right now that I don’t have. I don’t want lovely things for my home – if I get them, great, but I don’t have a longing for them (and don’t have a lot of room for them). I don’t want tools and gadgets – I have all I need and when I need something, I can go get it myself.

I suppose I want some books – I mean, I will ALWAYS want books. Maybe some CDs (does anyone else in the world still listen to CDs?). I’d love to see more theater than I’ve been able to get to lately. Maybe some new clothes . . . yeah, I’d enjoy new clothes. But none of those things are critical. None of those are the things I really want.

The things I really want (as the trite saying goes) can’t come in a box under a tree. I want more time with the people I love. I want the world to be more loving and unified and Christlike. I want my daughters to be emotionally and spiritually healthy and strong. I want to know and love God more and more every day.

(Please don’t start singing “My Grown Up Christmas List” to me. Please.) 

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