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Giving Up the Goals

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I’m organizing in my house. Because that gives me joy. (And it’s also in response to the call to simplify in The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry , which I recommended in a previous post. And which I am recommending again. Highly.) And part of that job has been going through crap in drawers. One of the things I found is a copy from a page from a book I know I haven’t read: To Hell with the Hustle by Jefferson Bethke. I suspect one of my friends gave this to me, and it would have to have been quite a while ago to be in the spot where it was in my drawer. Interestingly enough, reading it right now was very timely. Bethke says on this page, “I’ve begun to understand that we are created for formation, not goal-setting. . . Formations . . . aren’t about doing something but about being someone . One is usually about activity, while the other is about identity. . . One is about a result; the other is about a process.” Yes. YES. I could have started my house re-organization endeavors wi...
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New Earth, New Me

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I recently read a monstrous tome by Randy Alcorn called Heaven . It’s not a book I would have necessarily chosen on my own; among other things, it is, as I just said, a monstrous tome: more than five hundred pages. I read it because the ladies in my book club chose it for our discussion. So, I’ve been rather absorbed in the New Earth idea for several months. And that has made for some interesting mental fodder. Because the New Earth will be a place where we are no longer under the curse of the Fall. Still humans living on what is still an earth (this is Alcorn’s take on it – many will argue otherwise) . . . but no longer affected by sin. This brings some interesting ponderings to mind – in particular, what exactly in my personal life and experience is part of the curse of the Fall? For instance, my fat cells. God made fat cells. I suspect they existed under Adam and Eve’s skin in some proportion; I don’t believe their existence is a result of the Fall. But the number of fat cell...
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Resting Like the Cat

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When my daughter moved back home last summer, she brought with her a beautiful white housecat named Prince who turns two years old next month and behaves pretty much like a teenager (although I’ve been reminded that this means he’s behaving pretty much like a cat ). Because I’m almost always the first one up in the morning, he generally greets me at my door expecting some attention. That used to be playtime, but lately, it’s become cozy time. Case in point: after I emerged from my bedroom this morning and planted myself on the living room loveseat, he nonchalantly hopped up there by me, tenderly stepping over my body a couple times to get his head in the vicinity of my hand where chin scratches are easy for me. Then he settled down on the seat cushion snuggled up to my leg, purring and enjoying the weight of my hand on his body. As I felt that contented rumble under my hand and looked at his peaceful, closed eyes, I found myself praying. Jesus, this is what I want. I want to curl u...
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Be Astonished

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Pastor Garrett said something interesting in his sermon yesterday morning: that the miracle stories in the Bible should elicit astonishment in us -- and that astonishment is a combination of belief and disbelief. If we believe it easily, then it's not really astonishing. The response we should expect from ourselves and others is not , "Well, of course," but "Wow . . ." Which is the response I have to the raising of Lazarus from the dead. Wow. This may be the pinnacle of the miracle stories of Jesus, right? Bringing a man back to life.  It had to be an amazing thing to witness! "I can't believe what I'm seeing . . . but I'm seeing it, so I have to believe it." One detail in that story that stuck out to me recently is that Lazarus came out of the grave still wrapped up in his grave clothes. Jesus had to tell people to take them off of him. Right now, in the midst of Eastertide, that little detail reminds me of my butterfly lessons. If you...
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Make It Personal

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A couple months after a dear friend’s husband left her with a two-year-old and a baby on the way, she called and asked my husband and me if she could borrow some money. She had a large credit card bill she needed to pay off so she could get on her feet and move forward. We loved her. We really wanted to help her. And we had the money to loan her, but it would be a sacrifice. We trusted her, but we also knew it was risky; financial arrangements like that can really do damage to relationships if they go south. But we loved her. So, we took the risk. She eventually paid every penny back. In fact, she paid us something every month, without fail, until the debt was gone, even if it was only ten dollars. I don’t tell this story to toot our horns for our generosity, or even to toot hers for her perseverance. This story is a significant one in my life because it changed the way I view my money. Scripture speaks clearly and frequently about the importance of helping those in financial...
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Sleep Study #4

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I had a sleep study done a couple weeks ago. This is my fourth in the last twenty years or so. I’ve written about my sleep saga in earlier posts if you want to catch up. It's a LONG saga. See, I haven’t been using my CPAP for a year. I was trying a mandibular advancement device (interesting concept – look it up), but it gave me serious jaw and ear pain, and I didn’t think it was helping my sleep anyway. And I really don’t want to go back on the CPAP if I don’t have to. I mean, I don’t mind actually wearing it at night; the main problem is the maintenance . You have to clean the thing all the time and replace parts constantly. It’s ridiculous – especially when I don’t think it helps that much. However, I’d been noticing in the last month or two that I was markedly sleepy – the kind of sleepy that made a doctor suggest a sleep study in the first place twenty years ago. The kind of sleepy that made a neurologist about fifteen years ago remark, “You know, there are states that hav...
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Fear for Fun?

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My daughter is in the bedroom watching a horror video game with her friend in Atlanta. A few things I find fascinating about this fact. 1)      There exists a genre called “Horror Video Games”. 2)      Video games are apparently now an online spectator sport. 3)      She is able to do these things in real time with a friend a thousand miles away. Technology . But #4 is the one I want to talk about today: 4)      She and her friend are choosing to watch something meant to be frightening. And enjoying it. When did being scared become something fun and desirable? I suppose it’s nothing new in civilization. For centuries, people have done risky and dangerous things for the thrill of it, I guess. But I don’t get it. It is not fun to be frightened . As I sit here listening to the dramatic screams coming from her computer, I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever found delight in fear. I remember the firs...
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