My To-Be List

 I don’t want to call them resolutions. “Resolve” was a vocab word with my middle schoolers last quarter – “to settle on a course of action”. Whoa . . . a bit too much pressure there. Plus, it’s almost February, a bit late for New Year’s Resolutions.

And they’re not goals, either. Again, that implies some pressure to perform and achieve. Like I need more of that in my life.

It’s more of a vision. An image of myself. Where I want to be – who I want to be. I read something once about not making To Do Lists, but rather making To BE Lists. So, here’s my list of Who I Want To Be In A Year.

1)     I want to be a healthier person. In all ways, but I’m specifically going to say physically because I succumbed to the wiles of pandemic living and gained my Covid 19 pounds last year. Which is mostly a problem because I now have only two pairs of slacks that I can wear to work. And y’all – you KNOW I’m not buying more pants like a pathetic sugar-addicted quitter. So, I’m eating healthier and eating less, walking more. And maybe one of these days I’ll get myself to do something resembling exercise. I know I deal with everything in life better when I’m doing this stuff.

2)     I want to be less addicted to screen time. TV, computer, phone – all of them. Some of my screen time can’t be avoided. I TEACH on a screen. I plan and post lessons on a screen. I answer emails, pay bills, and write scripts and curriculum on a screen. But I don’t have to binge-watch The West Wing, solve nonograms on my laptop, and play mah jongg on my phone for hours on end. And cable news certainly doesn’t need to be running as background ambience throughout my day. I just bought another little cheap CD player to give me background noise. And I’ve got books – jigsaw puzzles – neighborhood walks – plenty of other things to do in my free time. Maybe I can even dig my piano music out of storage.

3)     I want to be moving in a definite direction. Yes, that’s rather vague. And I know I told you all in my first post that I’m “moving ahead”, but that was kind of a figure of speech. You know in the movies when an earthquake happens and the character grabs onto anything he can get a hold of to keep from falling down? That’s been me for the last two and a half years. And I’m still basically in that stance. Even though the ground seems to have stopped moving, I’m still gripping the furniture, braced for any aftershocks. By 2022, I hope to not only be standing solid but to have the damaged house back in order. Some of that furniture I was clinging to may need repair or replaced or even flat-out trashed – thank you for your service, but I have other needs now . . . because I’m actually moving forward. Into what? There’s the question. One without an answer yet because that depends on . . .

4)     I want to be happy with me and God. We’ve had it out for the last couple years (honestly, it’s been a bit tumultuous for longer than that). But in the end, I know it’s Him and me. I have two amazing daughters and many, many wonderful friends . . . but in reality, in the end, it’s HIM and me. And just that. And I also know that when I focus on just Him and me, I’m always more content. I mean, it’s almost like that’s how I was made to live . . .

We’ll check back in in January of 2022. And for the record, the scale this morning has me down about five pounds since New Year’s. Gimme some love, people!