When the Sorrow Remains

I don’t often find myself arguing with a “daily devotional” I’m reading. That’s probably because most people writing “daily devotionals” seem to stick to pretty general principles that all would agree with. The goal here is to lift our spirits and inspire us for a great day ahead.

And last Saturday’s daily devotional was of that nature. It addressed a verse in Psalm 23 – the one about God preparing a table for us in the presence of our enemies. The author says that God is a place of refuge for us in difficult times (oh, yes). He says, “In his presence one can find comfort, cleansing, renewing, and peace” (amen). He says, “I never leave His presence disappointed, discouraged, or downhearted.”

(Um . . . wait.)

That statement stopped me short.

I mean, it sounds good. It sounds like something that would get a big “Amen!” in a worship service. But then I really thought about it.

Are you saying, sir, that when you spend time with the Father in prayer, all feelings of disappointment, discouragement, and depression just go away? Because if so, I’m happy for you . . . but that’s not been my experience.

I have certainly had many times when talking to God about my problems, sitting in his lap and crying with him, eased the pain and gave me peace. But I have also had many times that I cried in his lap, and cried, and cried, and got up knowing he loved me, knowing he was with me, knowing he would carry me through it all, but still feeling the weight of the sorrow and struggle.

And I think that’s important for people to know. It seems that there are a lot of people out there who have been given the impression that the Christian life is a pain-free one. That when they pray about a problem, that should be the end of it. And when it isn’t, they wonder if they didn’t pray the right way . . . or if they don’t have enough faith . . . or if God is mad at them or doesn’t really love them . . . or if God isn’t as powerful as they thought . . . or, even worse, if there really isn’t a God out there after all.

This idea that we will pray and all the trouble will disappear is not at all biblical, despite what many prosperity preachers out there will tell you. “In this world, you will have trouble,” Jesus assured us. And if you know anything about early church history, that claim is verified.

Now, Jesus does also want us to have peace in our trouble (that’s actually the first part of the above verse, John 16:33). But is that guaranteed the moment we pray? I don’t think so. That hasn’t been my experience. It hasn’t been the experience of any of the mature believers I know, at least not every time. 

So, why pray then? If it’s not taking the problem away or taking the pain away?

I think the answer is in the other part of that sentence that I found troubling. "I never leave His presence disappointed, discouraged, or downhearted.” Wait a minute, sir. 

I never leave His presence, period.

Just because my prayer ended and I’m not actively speaking or thinking words directed at the Father’s ears doesn’t mean I’m no longer in His presence. I’m always in His presence. Always. I'm just not always conscious of that fact.

And that’s why I keep praying. Not to put myself in his presence, but to remind myself that I’m already there. To open my ears to hear his voice of comfort. I may still be disappointed, discouraged, or downhearted – but I know my Father is in control. I know that my feelings don’t define reality.

I know that my God is a big, big God.