What Makes a Good Day

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I’ve started a new habit in my nighttime routine: a quick review of my day with Jesus. What I did, how I did it, where I saw him, where I was out of line and need to repent, etc. It’s a nice habit; I’m glad I’m doing it.

But a few days ago, I spent my Jesus Check-In time apologizing to him for my unproductive day. Now to be fair, I had a reason for my lack of productivity, weird though it is. I’m not able to wear my contacts right now, so I’m wearing my old glasses all day (which I hate, but that’s another story). I’ve worn contacts for decades – I put them in first thing in the morning and take them out last thing at night. So, when I don’t have them in, my brain says, “It’s sleepytime!” I have been yawning all day long, and I just never feel like my brain is ON. It’s very frustrating.

So, this particular day in my old ugly glasses progressed with nothing significant accomplished. I watched too much TV. I played too many games on my phone. I was decidedly unproductive.

And I was apologizing to Jesus for that . . . until I thought, hang on. Being unproductive isn’t a sin. Is it? No, surely not -- not in itself. Why am I apologizing? There wasn’t anything that I needed to get done today; I didn’t let any balls drop. So why do I think I need to apologize?

Sometimes I find myself a fascinating psychological study.

I have always been a big to-do list person. I make a list for every day and take great satisfaction in crossing things off. In fact, I’m one of those people who will put things on the list that I’ve already done just so I have the pleasure of putting a line through it. Yeah, I’m that weird.

But apparently, for me, that’s more than just a preference or a pleasure. It’s part of my identity. It’s how I determine my value. If I don’t accomplish a lot by the time I crawl into bed, I feel like I had a lousy day -- and maybe even that I'm a lousy person.

Now, there are a few exceptions. If I spend time with people I enjoy and love, that’s a good day. If I’m having some new experiences (traveling or something like that), I would probably consider that a good day (I think -- that doesn't happen very often anymore).

But generally, it seems that I evaluate the quality of my existence by how many things I get done. And that ain’t right.

This realization was eye-opening to me. And I decided I need to fix that. But what else should be used to judge the value of my time spent? (Honestly, the fact that I struggled to answer that question for a while was telling.) The first thing that came to mind was “if I did things I enjoy”. And well, yes, I suppose. But life isn’t just about my entertainment, surely. I would certainly enjoy lying around watching old movies and eating ice cream and chocolate, but that should be a rare exception, not a standard for how I occupy myself on a regular basis. 

And then it hit me.

Love. That’s what it’s supposed to be about.

So, there’s my new standard, my new goal. It’s been a good day if I actively and intentionally loved God and other people. And that changes my Check-In at night. Who do I think felt loved by me today?

And it may also change my lifestyle a bit. If I don't interact with people, if I spend a day isolated at home, I'm not showing love to anyone. 

But I do need to stop evaluating my personal worth this way. Jesus made that clear. And that's a relief. 

 

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