Don't Label Me!

I ran into an old friend the other day, and we were filling each other in on our kids’ lives. She told me her son recently decided he might be autistic.

Well, hmm.

She questioned that conclusion (so did I). He had apparently mentioned the idea to his therapist, who had asked, “Well . . . do you rehearse in your head ahead of time conversations you’re going to have with others?” His answer was yes, so the therapist agreed that yes, autism might be a possibility.

And I thought, Hmm. I do that sometimes. But no, I am not on the spectrum.

In a discussion a few months ago with the doctor fitting my Mandibular Advancement Device (it’s for sleep – a story for another day), I was filling her in on my history of sleep issues and the things I do to try to fall asleep. Such as recite the periodic table of elements – by atomic number or alphabetically. Or list the U.S. presidents – in chronological order or alphabetically (by first or last name) or by party – along with the years they were elected. Or list the countries of the world and their capitals – alphabetically or geographically . . . you get the idea.

She was a bit taken aback. She let me know that this oral device should take care of any oxidation issues I was having, but if I still wasn’t sleeping well, I probably would need to see a therapist to look for other issues – like OCD, “because it sounds like there might be some of that happening there”.

And I thought, Uh, NO. I know OCD, girl. This ain’t that.

Y’all, can we all just chill out a bit? We are much too quick to stick labels on people. This person is clearly ADHD . . . that person might be on the autistic spectrum . . . I see this a lot in school, frankly. When a kid struggles, we wonder if there is something going on needing a diagnosis.

And yes, some labels are accurate and needed. For example, if a student is genuinely dyslexic, that needs to be identified early so remediation can be done and accommodations made . . . and so that student doesn’t start thinking of themselves as just stupid (which I’ve seen far too often).

But for some of us, we don’t need a label, for Pete’s sake. This is just how we are.

Maybe what we want to label as hyperactivity is simply a body that needs to move more. Maybe what we want to label as attention deficit disorder is simply a brain that works differently. Maybe what we want to label as mild autism is simply a personality that interacts with people in an unusual way. Not always, of course, but maybe.

Because God made us all different. Can I get an amen?

Is there a “normal” out there? I don’t know. There is definitely “unhealthy”. There are habits we fall into sometimes that we think are our personality and are actually unhealthy and need to be ended. So, this requires wisdom.

And in the end, I believe it requires the Holy Spirit. Since God is the one who made us the way we are (and as the old saying goes, “God don’t make junk”), he would be the one to let us know which of our daily habits are part of his design and which are habits needing to be broken.

So, I’ll be discussing with him whether or not I rehearse possible conversations too much. Maybe I’ll fill you in on his response. Stay tuned.