In the Role of Father

Last week was one of the best weeks of the year: Teacher Appreciation Week.

And y’all, my school does this celebration exceptionally well. Our parents fed us every day we were on campus – breakfast, lunch, and snacks all day. Students brought us gifts and cards with lovely affirming messages. We got to dress down in jeans. Food, words, and comfortable clothing: so many of my love languages happening there.

I love my students. Some of them I like more than others, but that’s reality with any group of people you’re with all the time, yes? I really do love each of my students very much.

Here is some evidence I have noted lately of spiritual growth in myself: I am not as concerned anymore about whether my students love me. That was a problem when I was teaching right out of college: I wanted to be loved and admired by the kids I taught. It’s to my credit, I suppose, that I don’t think I let that need of mine affect the way I interacted with them (at least not too much). But it profoundly affected my emotional state and my inner well-being.

I don’t think it does anymore. It helps that I think most of my students like me. Some of them genuinely love me; they embrace everything I say and even want a relationship beyond the classroom. A few are distant; they probably don’t have anything against me per se, but in general, they just put up with me because they have to. But I’ve had a student or two in recent years that I suspected didn’t like me much. That didn’t bother me. And I still loved them. Again – not taking credit for that at all. This is absolutely evidence of Jesus making me more like him.

But it occurred to me recently that my relationships with my students are probably similar to God’s relationships with his children. Some of God’s children adore him and hang on his every word. Some acknowledge him as God and show their respect but just aren’t interested in any more connection than that. And I suspect some of his children, if they're honest, have some serious grudges they’re harboring against their Father in heaven – grudges that are getting in the way of that relationship.

The analogy I’m making there isn’t perfect, however; there is a significant difference. The primary purpose of my relationship with students is instruction and training. Any personal connection is a bonus, and it certainly enhances the instruction. But my role there is teacher. I have to very consciously keep that in mind as I interact with them.

It’s a completely different situation with God. God’s primary purpose with us is not instruction. It’s not even obedience, although I suspect some of us have been taught otherwise. The primary purpose for God’s relationship with us is . . . relationship. Plain and simple. His role with us is Father. The aim of the Father's work in our lives is connecting us intimately with himself -- everything else flows from that.

And here’s a risky proposition: I suspect that there may be times when he’s willing to put obedience on the back burner with one of his children until their relationship with him grows stronger.

I know some of you are squirming right now. A few of you may have just mentally thrown me into the heretic box in your brain. “No, no, no!” you protest. “Obedience to God is a key component in a relationship with him!” And yes, I would agree. But maybe it’s not a primary ingredient? As in, the first thing that must get thrown into the bowl? Maybe God knows a person’s heart better than other people do. Maybe he knows that some of us need to have a really profound trust in someone before we’re willing to give him our obedience -- at least, the kind of obedience we offer a loving father (which is the kind he wants) as opposed to that which we offer a terrifying dictator (which I don't think gives him any pleasure at all).

Might it be possible that somebody could be actively defying one or more of God’s commands . . . which ultimately isn't okay, of course . . . but they are only just becoming acquainted with their Father in any real sense . . . and isn’t it possible that he might ignore their lack of submission for a bit just to work on strengthening the connection between them? Knowing that this person needs to trust him better before they’ll be willing to obey in this very difficult thing that doesn’t make sense to them right now?

And might it be possible, then, that we need to lay off our judgment of them and their spiritual state and just let God do what he does best?

Yes, I know – for some of us, that’s a very radical and uncomfortable idea. But to say no, that’s NOT possible . . . well, I think it’s proclaiming a pretty low view of God and a pretty arrogant appraisal of our spiritual omniscience. Personally, I think the overall message that the Word gives us about the Father supports this risky little proposition. You’re welcome to disagree.

Nevertheless, Jesus' greatest command was to love: love God, love others. In other words, relationships are supposed to be primary. 

And Hallelujah that our Father always does relationships better than we do.