Resting in Expectancy

So, I’ve been reading lately on the difference between expectations and expectancy.

 Expectations are when you assume something is going to happen – when you expect someone (God, someone else, yourself) to do a particular thing. I expected my teenage children to put their dirty clothes in the laundry room on laundry day. I expected my husband to not sleep with other women. I expect the teachers on my team to post their lesson plans by Saturday evening.

Some expectations, like these, are quite reasonable. Other expectations are not. It would not be reasonable for parents in my school to expect teachers to respond to their emails after 10pm. It would not have been reasonable to expect my daughters to only date boys I picked out for them. It was not reasonable to expect myself to be the same kind of housekeeper my mother was while I was homeschooling and living in a much larger house.

But now, expectancy is a different thing. Expectancy is an attitude you live in. It’s having your eye out for what’s on the way. It's the dog in this picture, believing she's coming, she's coming, I know she's coming . . . 

Most of us approach the Christmas holidays with a feeling of expectancy. It’s a special time, a joyful time, and we’re looking for good things to happen. But if we go into the holidays with expectations – specific things we expect to happen (it’s going to snow, everyone is going to get along, people will be thrilled with the gifts I bought them) – there’s a good chance that we will get disappointed.

Many a bride comes to their wedding day with great expectations. The sun will shine. My hair will be perfect. The food will be delicious. My groom will look at me like I’m a princess. All our family and friends from different walks of life will like each other. But all those little things don’t always happen. Better to go in with expectancy . . . it’s going to be wonderful. I’m going to look for the wonderful because it will be there somewhere – maybe where I would never have expected it.

Expectations have definitions and timelines and demands; expectancy has space and trust and open hands. Expectations are imposed on others; expectancy waits on others. Expectations have their place . . . but expectancy gives us hope.

There was a time when I had specific expectations about my future. I was going to be a public high school teacher for forty-some years – a great one, who inspired many young people in my community and changed many lives. I was also going to be a fantastic mother and a leader in my church and a wonderful wife and a hot, sexy, skinny chick long into my retirement years . . . I would simply be All That. 

I failed pretty quickly. 

But after being depressed for a bit, I fell into more of a feeling of expectancy. Because I started seeing doors God was opening in my life and work he was doing in me that I knew was good stuff even though I couldn’t see where it was all headed. 

And the thing is, we often come to a place in life where we really don't have much control over what’s going to happen to us. I mean, the reality is we always have less control than we think . . . but sometimes everything is genuinely out of our hands. We can’t hold expectations for what’s to come because the decisions are not ours to make. It’s not our say. We simply have to choose to accept or not accept what is given to us.

This is where expectancy kicks in. God has told us that he’s working all things out for our good (Rom 8:28). He’s told us that he is able to do stuff more amazing than we could ever imagine or would even dare to ask for (Eph 3:20). If this is true – and it is – we don’t need to have control. We can have hope instead, which is a better deal anyway. 

When you know Jesus, expectancy should be the default. And surprisingly, it is a wonderful place of rest.

Who else could use some rest today?