My Actual Calling

“Our calling is not primarily to be holy men and women . . .”

Thus sayeth Oswald Chambers in the devotional I’m reading this morning from My Utmost for His Highest. And that remark stopped me short for a second.

Because of course I’m called to be holy. Right? Holy living. I mean, that’s what it’s all about, this Christian life. Living righteously. Doing the right things. Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t cuss, don’t show too much skin . . . but in fairness, it’s not just about the “don’ts”. It’s also the “be’s”. Be kind, be forgiving, be hospitable, be generous, be happy, be obedient . . . be good.

At least that’s what the little Baptist girl in me understood.

But I understand what Chambers is saying. When my focus is on how good I’m being, that becomes my identity – or as he puts it, my reality. “Reality is not human goodness, or holiness, or heaven, or hell . . . Christian workers fail because they place their desire for their own holiness above their desire to know God.”

I am SO not holy, people. But the sad truth is, if I’m honest (and I’m committed to being that), I often think I’m holier than I am.

Now, on one hand, I hate to knock myself too much for that. One of the blessings of the earthquake I went through was the deep introspection and analysis of my adult life . . . and the consequent realization that I am not who I was thirty years ago. That I have come so far.  That God is, in fact, in the process of consecrating me – of making me holy. There are no words for the gratitude I feel at these revelations. At the risk of sounding all churchy, I genuinely rejoice!!! in what God has done in me, because even though I still have far to go, I’m all too aware that I could never have gotten even this far by myself.

But this also helps me recognize the danger Chambers is addressing: if I spend my time worrying about being holy, being righteous, being good, then the focus is on me. “God cannot deliver me while my interest is merely in my own character,” he says. I don’t get holy by trying to be holy . . . and I will end up totally missing my actual calling.

“Our calling is not primarily to be holy men and women, but to be proclaimers of the gospel of God.”

The gospel: redemption. It’s not about who I am; it’s about who got me here. “(R)edemption is the only reality. Personal holiness is an effect of redemption, not the cause of it.” I’m called to be redeemed – to glory in and proclaim my redemption and my redeemer. Holiness is merely a side effect that gives evidence and credibility to my proclamation.

As I’m typing this, I keep thinking this should be one for the “duh” file. Like, I know this. But it’s one thing to know it; it’s another thing to live it. What exactly would that look like?

Many years ago, I read some interesting instructions about how to maintain humility when being complimented. The author encouraged us to accept the compliment with a deflection to another person who made the complimented action possible.

“You’re such a great cook!” – “Thank you; my mother taught me well.”

“You did a great job on stage tonight!” – “Thank you; I had a great director, and my fellow actors were amazing.”

Maybe that’s kind of what it looks like to live this calling.

“You’re so generous.” – “Well, God’s given me peace about my finances and a joy in helping others.”

“You’re so forgiving.” – “Only because the Lord turned off the anger and gave me compassion.”

“You’re so strong.” – “Actually, I’m being strongly held by my Father.”

Maybe – just maybe – we worry a bit too much about proclaiming the gospel as my Baptist upbringing defined it: how people can keep from being sent to hell. My calling is to proclaim my redemption – not just from hell sometime in the future, but from the hell I would otherwise be making for myself right now. That’s actually the hell that people are most concerned about, I think.

Which means THIS is the gospel they need to see and hear. Not my holiness . . . my redemption.