By Our Love

In the past thirty-five years, I have lived in seven different cities in six different states. My current stint in San Antonio has been the longest: I’ve been here for eleven years. The longest before that was in New Jersey for ten. The rest of that time was in various spots in the Midwest, the region of the country where I grew up and that I most identify with.

To echo a Christmas classic, it’s been a wonderful life. At least an interesting one, that’s for sure.

Just in case you are not aware, New Jersey is a very different place from the Midwest. That move was quite the culture shock, friends. And Texas! Oh, y’all . . . it's a country to itself. But the dramatic cultural differences have not been a trial to me. They've actually been educational. And often entertaining. But there are other trying differences I’ve had to deal with that had more lasting impact on me.

Curiously, in each place I’ve lived (at least since I’ve been a mother), I’ve somehow ended up in the . . . I don’t know what to call it . . . the “churchy middle.” Playing kind of a tug-of-war with the two sides of the aisle in modern American Christianity. I would be actively involved in one group (usually an educational enterprise) that was theologically more conservative than I generally was. And then I’d be actively involved in another group (usually my church) that was theologically more liberal than I generally was.

It was kind of frustrating. Often confusing. And now I see what a gift this was from God. Because I loved and genuinely respected people in ALL of these groups. I saw Jesus in friends on both sides of every debate.

That meant that I could never just mindlessly agree with what somebody told me was right on an issue . . . because somebody else was telling me that that was wrong. I could never just go with the flow . . . because the flow whipped me around like a hurricane. I was forced to think – and listen to the Holy Spirit as closely as I knew how.

It also meant that I could rarely dismiss a scriptural interpretation as ridiculous. Yes, it may be wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s ridiculous. And the person promoting this idea may be incorrect, but that doesn’t mean they are evil or stupid or unworthy of my love and respect and continued companionship.

And I realized this truth all the more as I grew in my faith and my ideas on things changed over the years. Because my ideas did change --  which is as it should be. We are all wrong in some area of our thinking. We should always be willing to re-evaluate, to listen to the other side, to hold our opinions with an open hand.

Y’all, people are losing friends over this last election. Worse – I have friends whose children have cut ties with them because of who they voted for.

THAT, friends – THAT says far more about our country than any results of that election could have. And I find it especially concerning when you consider the active influence the evangelical community has had in recent politics.

I’ve said this before, but it apparently bears repeating. Jesus never said people would know we are his disciples by our correct doctrine or our successful political structures or even by our moral behavior. He said the world will know us by our love.

Love, people. It is ALWAYS more important to be loving than to be right.