The Chocolate

I made a rare trip to Costco yesterday. And it led to all sorts of self-examination.

It was a rare trip because now that it’s just me in my little house, I don’t have much need to buy in bulk. I mean, I could, just to be thrifty. And thrifty I definitely am – as the progeny of parents who were children during the Depression, I think I come by it naturally. But I mainly keep the membership now because of my love affair with two Kirkland brand items: the granola bar and the chocolate chip.

Is that weird? Store brand is supposed to be low quality, yes? And that's probably the case with the granola bars. I think my affinity for them is just a matter of familiarity; they’re what my taste buds are used to now. But the chocolate chips??

I mean, y’all . . .

I don’t know what it is about that four-pound bag of goodness. I wonder sometimes if there are drugs in them. They are so stinkin’ delicious. They’re labeled semi-sweet, but they taste like darker chocolate, my favorite. They’re just the right size, the right consistency, the right percentage of cacao . . . I love them like I can’t express to you here. Whenever I pick up a wimpy bag of chocolate chips with my regular groceries from HEB, it doesn’t matter the brand or the size or the type, they are a disappointment. Kirkland signature semi-sweet chocolate chips. They are frickin’ amazing, friends.

Amazing enough, apparently, to justify my maintaining a Costco membership for them.

Which I realized yesterday is downright ridiculous. I pay good money for a Costco card just for the privilege of buying granola bars and chocolate chips. That’s stupid. For pity’s sake. As I flashed that card to the door watcher and paced my well-worn route to the correct aisles, I decided that when it came time to renew my membership, I needed to quit. I mean, Courtney has offered to pick up Costco items for me when I need them (she has a family of five which justifies the membership).

Yep, it’s time. Cut the cord. Save the dough.

But as the man at the register handed me back my membership card after scanning it, he asked if I wanted to put my renewal fee on this charge with my items. ”It’s due now,” he replied. “You have to renew it to shop today.”

Sigh.

So, I renewed. And stared at my receipt with disgust on my way out. Sixty bucks – three times the cost of the two items that are my only reason for being there. What has happened to me? When did I become so wasteful? I pay for cable TV just so I can watch the news. I pay someone to mow a lawn I’m perfectly capable of mowing myself. I use DoorDash. Regularly. Just because I’m lazy. The shame of it all.

But then it occurred to me: sixty dollars a year is only five bucks a month. Is it worth five bucks a month for me to be able to get Kirkland chocolate chips whenever I choose?

Oh . . .

Oh, heck, yeah.

Don’t judge me, people. Try the chocolate. So worth it.