Thanks for Listening

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My mood was quite appropriate this past weekend for “Holy Saturday”, the day we remember Jesus still in the tomb and the disciples still in hiding.

I was in a pit.

I can’t really tell you why. I mean, I’m not sure I would share with the whole world here all the reasons for the depressions I experience even if I could . . . but I can’t. I was just in a pit. Tired. Sad. Crying. And things kept happening that set me off more. I wanted to crawl into a corner and be sad and alone . . . and yet aloneness was really the last thing I wanted or needed.

I have no idea why, but I paused for a moment in my despondency and posted on Facebook that I would appreciate some prayers. That’s all. Just “please pray”. A quiet little cry of desperation – I don’t even know if I expected anyone to see it. But before I knew it, 40-some people had commented on my post that they were praying, and more than 60 had left me encouraging emojis. Another friend sent a Facebook message asking if I was okay, and both of my daughters texted to check on me.

Just when I wonder if FB is worth all the negatives . . .

There were also two friends whom I spoke to on the phone Saturday morning who talked me off the ledge, so to speak (not literally – don’t anybody worry about that). And another friend called and left a message while I was at Zumba.

(Yes, I went to Zumba. I kind of plodded my way through the class and cried some more when I got home, but I was stinkin’ proud of myself for getting my weepy butt to the gym and not wimping out in the middle of this ridiculous, uncalled-for depressive episode.)

And then Courtney and Stephanie stopped by in the middle of the afternoon to bring me chocolate-covered caramels, tell me I was important and valuable and loved, and hug me.

Y’all. God has given me such good people.

During a very difficult period in my life many years ago, my friend Eileen knew what was going on and was doing the prayer warrior thing on my behalf. It was rather uncanny how often I would be having a horrible moment, sobbing alone in my bedroom, and out of nowhere . . . the phone would ring. And it was Eileen. “I was chopping the onions for my salsa and just felt the Spirit telling me, ‘You should call Gwen.’” And so she did. She put down the knife and picked up her phone. Just like that. I mean, that happened over and over.

Eileen taught me a powerful lesson about listening to the Spirit. When he says to do something, stop and do it. Like, now.

Several of you did that on Saturday. I don’t know if you knew that was the Spirit telling you to tell her you're praying for her, or give her a call, or take her some chocolates . . . but it was. Thank you for listening. God loved me through you. And I want you to know how grateful I am.

And that even if I don't get a chance to pay you back, I fully intend to pay it forward. I'm trying to listen to the Spirit, too.

Comments

  1. AnonymousApril 14, 2023 at 3:33 PM

    Thanks Gwen for sharing this. When I’m down I don’t want to let myself be known. You’re a wonderful example to me to be open. Also, the advice to ‘do it now’ when the Spirit prompts me to act is great advice. Sometimes I’ve acted and wondered later if maybe I did the right thing. Sometimes the friend will tell me later that it was just what they needed. Other times the person that I helped is long gone and I just have to trust God that I obeyed at the right time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GJKApril 14, 2023 at 5:18 PM

      Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do more -- act now when I feel the Spirit nudging me. :)

      Delete

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