Making Music

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I just turned 54. That means I’ve played piano for forty years. Well, I’ve played piano for more than forty years . . . I would say I’ve been playing piano well for about forty years. Recitals and contests. Accompanying groups at school. Offertory specials at church. Lots and lots of playing piano.

But a few years ago, when my earthquake hit, I stopped. Just wasn’t in the mood anymore. And then my music was stored away where I couldn’t get to it . . . and when I got it out, most of it was ruined (you can read about that here if you missed that drama).

In any case, the few bits of music that survived I’ve been getting out and picking through again once in a while. And it’s kind of nice to be back at the ivories, but it’s also been frustrating. Because I’ve lost some of my touch. Really challenging songs that I used to nail, and really beautiful songs that I used to love, I’m stumbling through these days. And as I stumble, I imagine the days when I used to play them to great acclaim and praise . . . and feel sad at what I’ve lost.

Being an empty nester now (as of about a month ago), I find myself some evenings wondering what exactly I should do with myself for the next hour, now that I have the option of doing, well, just about anything I want to do. I had such a moment tonight. What do I want to do? I don’t know . . . I want to . . . I want to . . .

Now, please don’t think I’m a freak or anything . . . but I kind of felt Jesus drawing me to the piano.

I pulled out one of my few surviving books: Crown Him, some beautiful hymn arrangements by Suzanne Arant from about thirty years ago. And I started to play.

And suddenly I wasn’t playing anymore for the old audiences who used to praise me, or for potential current audiences in my imagination who I sadly suspect would not be impressed. I don’t know that I was playing for anyone.

I was making music with Jesus. Not for him -- with him.

I love thee, I love thee, I love thee, my Lord . . .

When peace like a river attendeth my way . . .

O God, our help in ages past . . .

He leadeth me – O blessed thought . . .

There is sunshine in my soul today . . .

I had to fight the tears (which I’m giving free rein now as I type) because if I started crying, I wouldn’t be able to read the music anymore and the moment would be over.

In so many ways, I’m a performer – I perform in front of my students, I perform in front of audiences, and honestly, at some level, I probably perform in front of every human I encounter in the course of any given day. But for about forty-five minutes tonight, I sat at a piano and didn’t perform. I just made music with the One who loves me most.

Have you ever had one of those moments when Jesus seems too real and wonderful to be legit? Tonight, friends.

Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2022 at 10:53 AM

    Brought tears to my eyes. Praise God for his love! Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete

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