The Importance of Receiving
“It is the duty of birds to sing and the rest of us receive the song as a gift.” (Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer)
This sentence would not let go of me all day long. It seems
like there is something important there . . .
I’ve always been fascinated with discovering people’s gifts –
talents and abilities bestowed upon them by God for him to use to accomplish
his work. As my daughters were growing up, it was SO exciting when their strengths
and passions began to be revealed, and I really tried to affirm them. I do the
same with my students. I love when I am able to point out to a young man in my
English class that even though he struggles to read Jules Verne, he is able to
read the hearts of his classmates in a way others can’t. It’s a gift,
honey.
The quote above from Kimmerer (whose book has been opening
new doors for me for the last month or so) gave me a different perspective on
this. I do love seeing others use their giftings, and I’m quite aware of my
responsibility to give back as well. But I’m not sure it ever occurred to me that
their gift is something I might need to intentionally receive.
A friend of mine was on bedrest for a while during her first
pregnancy, and we all rallied, of course, to take care of her and her husband’s
needs during that time – an effort which she resisted mightily. She was one of those
women, you know: I’m the one who helps everyone else; I don’t need help
myself. Someone finally scolded her for that. “Service is my spiritual gift
– this is what God designed me to do! When you refuse my help, you’re stopping
me from meeting God’s call on my life.”
Ouch.
Accepting help was about more than meeting her need for a
casserole for dinner. It was about being connected in the body of Christ. It
was also about changing her view of herself . . . about acknowledging where she
was incapable . . . and seeing that she did not need to always be capable
. . . that God was the source of all met needs and all capability. She changed a
little when she ate that casserole. And I suspect that the change was the
ultimate purpose of the gift, more than a healthy meal.
“A gift is different from something you buy, possessed of
meaning outside its material boundaries,” says Kimmerer. “A gift asks something
of you. To take care of it. And something more.”
Something more. More than reciprocity. Even more than
gratitude. I have only a vague sense of what that is, but it still seems
important . . .
In the last few years, I’ve been especially conscious of the
many gifts God has given me through people in my life. And my gratitude abounds
– to them and to God. But have I received those gifts properly? Because it now feels
important that I should, so I need to figure out how to do so. It seems to
require not just awareness on my part, or acknowledgement, or even appreciation;
it requires me to somehow internalize that act and be changed by it. Even if it’s
just to feel more loved, I suppose.
(Am I overthinking this, y’all? I mean, I do that sometimes.)
God used Alfy and Larry to fix up my house to sell. How
should that change me? Maureen affirmed the life decisions I was making – that certainly
changed me. My small group ladies made me laugh. Several people gave me
delicious food when I was too stressed to cook. Mike helped me buy a car – maybe
that was about more than my need for transportation.
Randy told me I’m a writer and that I needed to write. It
felt good when he said that. I was grateful. I'm pretty sure I thanked him. But gratitude wasn’t an adequate
response to his gift of discernment and encouragement. I needed to receive
that gift: I needed to write. Because writing shapes my soul.
It seems that when I actively receive gifts, I am changed. Not
just fed or praised or encouraged or pampered – I come away different. Closer
to the person God wants me to be.
So, yep. That seems very important.
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